For teachers, parents, schools and coaches, May is a time of bittersweet goodbyes.
When I taught, I started getting reflective and emotional in March—thinking about how far my students had come in a year. But by the time May arrived, I was too exhausted to express my thoughts and feelings well.
Hugs and kisses were often the best I could do to wrap up the tremendous journeys I took with children and their families.
I don’t have a classroom anymore. Instead I have you, an amazing village of Boss Parents. Rather than working with kids directly, I try to help parents make beneficial changes in their families.
I spend a lot of time and virtual ink telling you what to do—how to address behaviors, prep for transitions, when to be tough, when to be soft, etc., etc.
But I also worry that you’re too hard on yourselves, Bosses. It’s human nature to focus on what needs improvement, but just the fact that you’re gathering behavior advice means you’re in an elite group of parenting superstars. If you could see through my teacher eyes, you would know it.
So today I’m here to cheer for you, as we push towards the finish line of another school year. I’m here to tell you all the things I see you doing so well. All the things that are going to make your children strong and successful in life.
I See More than Just Child Behavior
I get so focused on explaining how to fix and tweak child behaviors that I forget to praise all the superhuman feats of parenting I see every day.
You may be too close to see it, but the steady (and sometimes rapid) developmental progress of your children over a school year is largely due to the stable, loving environments you provide day in, and day out.
Here are some of the beautiful things I see in you Boss Parents:
- I see you respecting your kids for who they are, not who you wish they were.
- I see you talking to your kids like they’re people and trying so hard to not over-negotiate with them.
- I see you exposing children to amazing experiences, like hiking, dance, trapeze, robotics, and music—and trying so hard not to over-schedule them.
- I see you hating homework and trying to find win-win compromises so your kids learn they can’t shirk school responsibility.
- I see you working hard to manage yourself and keep your temper.
- I see you drawing hard lines where safety is concerned.
- I see you not wasting time on denial and getting your kids the services they need when a teacher raises concern.
- I see you seeking compliance rather than obedience.
- I see you caring more about your kids demonstrating empathy than demonstrating proficiency on standardized testing.
- I see you limit screen time for so many reasons.
- I see you getting those veggies in there.
Most of all, what I see time and time again in Boss Parents is the willingness to change when something isn’t working. As a teacher and consultant, I’m so grateful when I get to partner with conscientious, mindful parents like you.
Your kids have challenges. (Most children do.) But because you’re so boss, they also have an emotional stability that allows them to keep moving forward.
Your children feel safe. That’s the foundation to making the social, emotional, and behavioral progress we’re asking of them. They feel safe, because of you.
I see you. You are amazing Boss Parents.
I hope you’ll share this with all the Boss Parents you know!
About the Author
Lisa King is the co-founder of Boss Parent. She also provides parents with in-person and remote child behavior consulting.